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Game 3

Yes...this is so late, you're thinking "why bother"? Because it was an amazing night that deserves it's place in internet heaven. And I will get into Jon and Mish's wedding -- and all the horrible, shameful details, later this week.

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Game Three of the Stanley Cup Finals yeilded my greatest one liner of my life last night. And only Houle was there to witness it, and it's something that I don't think I'll ever get a chance to use it again.

We were at Thirsty Turtle watching the game. It was the second intermission. One girl (Tia) said to another girl (Reanna), "Hey, Reanna, I haven't seen you since last period".

To which I replied, "You mean you haven't seen her in 28 days...???"

Houle keeled over in laughter...and, after the shock, even Reanna had to laugh.

What else happened that night? Oy vey...where to begin? Well, for starters, the bar ran out of beer. But what do you except when you have Houle tell the waitress to bring us 4 pitchers of beer, and then 4 more. The waitresses name was Bailey, and after Jon and I sang to her, it was clear that she loved us. She thought that we were animals for the amount of beer we were drinking -- it is obscene the amount that we can drink and still function (like Jon's wedding, but I digress). In the end, however, Bailey got a huge tip and would use me as a messenger service...more on that to come.

There was a contingent from MFC at the bar. MFC stands for Maximum Fighting Championship. Their new light heavyweight champ was in the bar, along with CTV, for a photo op. Both the champ, and the photographer were from Quebec, so of course Houle had to do his "french thing" and talk to them. Then we got a picture with the guy that is supposed to go on the website...but I'm not holding my breath.

Edit: As of June 25, the photo's are NOT on the site. I'm NOT surprised.

Oh, and I so could have taken the guy...Here is his picture, for those that are interested:

After the Oilers won, we were inspired to scream "Here I am, Rock you like a HURRICANE" over and over. We looked onto Whyte Ave and the place was going crazy. Women in miniskirts and tube tops were everywhere. Jon and I did the patented "gasp move". (Honestly Moose, Chewie, and Jay, it's our "new move"). The girls heard us, naturally, and looked up to see us checking them out. Even though they didn't seem impressed, I think that deep down they actually loved us.

No sooner had we finished feeling embarassed for ogling, then the skies opened up and it POURED on us. Honestly...Whyte Ave was flooded within minutes. The cops that were in charge of crowd control had it pretty easy...the rain drove everyone away from the Avenue.

Even though it was raining buckets, what did Houle and I do? We ran to Cook County, then tried to push a cab back onto the road after he plowed over a construction barricade and got stuck in the lane of traffic where they had removed all the asphalt. As we were trying to help this guy, with rain soaking our shirts, the crowd was chanting, "HEROES, HEROES, HEROES". Naturally this was amazing.

Oh, but I should mention that although it was pouring out, as we ran to the next bar, we DID stop to give high fives to people on Whyte Ave. What's so special about this? Well, we were only "high fiving" people in HANDCUFFS.

Cooker was a shit show, I won't go into the details of why Jon Houle was two-stepping. (Yes, you read that right...Jon was dancing). But I will point out that BOTH girls asked each of us why we were soaked from head to toe. I was thinking that they can't possibly be serious -- didn't they see the rain looking out the windows in the mechanical bull room? Guess not!

I also will not explain why I had 6 random girls grab my ass...but that's not the best part. You see, after feeling me up (or, as I call it, "a Lise" type of move), these chicks pulled the CLASSIC Moose move of pretending that they hadn't done anything. It was honestly one of the coolest things I've ever witnessed. Moose...your style has come full circle!

Another interesting story involves Bailey (our first waitress at Thirsty Turtle) who gave me a hand written note that I was to give to Lindsey, who was a shooter girl at Cooker. I called her out by name...and she was scared. Was I a stalker? How did I know her name and what did I want? Her fears of having to get a restraining order were alleviated when I gave her the note. Although Jon and I weren't supposed to read it, I did manage to catch bits and pieces of it, namely the part where she tells Lindsey to NOT trust the messangers. DAMMIT, foiled again!

I also ran into Jenn Zirk (a chick I RLA'd with). It was great to see her 'cause I hadn't seen her, literally, in two years. I told her that Cori and I were married...we had a new house, you know...catching up. Well, then I got a BRILLIANT idea. You see, back in the day, I had asked out Jenn's older sister. That bombed like a Japanese kamikaze pilot into a U.S. aircraft carrier. But, I thought, times had changed and maybe she would be glad to hear my voice again. So I called her up ... it was after midnight.

Krista...this is YOUR LIFE! Do you remember...the year was 1997 and the place was Six Mac. You were in the teens wing while I was in the high wing...

At this point she cut me off. Who IS this?

I ignored the question...and asked one of my own. What are you doing right now, and what are you wearing?

She said that she was reading a book and going to bed. She did NOT sound happy. So I let her off the hook and told her who I was. I BARELY REGISTERED WITH HER. Or, more like, she knew who I was and really didn't care if she ever talked to me ever again.

Oh god...bad idea! I gave the phone back to Jenn to apologize. At this point Houle asked who Krista was, if he knew her, and what she looked like. Jenn described it best: "Picture me...only with brown hair, and I have way nicer tits". Jon gasped...we did a lot of gasping that night.

I swear...one day Jenn is going to make her future husband very happy!

Eventually we left the bar and got some Mickey Dees, again on foot. As we were eating our food at the garbage can, I got into a fight with the hot mustard packet and absolutely ruined my shirt. But while this was happening, a lady with her two teenage sons again tried to run over the construction zone I mentioned earlier. The car's front bumper just SLAMMED into the pavement...and she must have wrecked her car.

After that embarassment, Houle and I again saved the dayand earned more hero chants when we placed a "road closed" barricade over the most dangerous portion of Calgary Trail North bound.

We went back to Houles, called Mish ('cause it was her stag that night) -- man was she ever drunk -- and then passed out.

It was an amazing night and there were only the two of us...but truly a night that will live in infamy.

UPDATE:

I couldn't let this go without an update. After the disappointing and heart breaking loss in Game 7, I was on the verge of tears. The Oilers had come so close...to lose like that was horrendous. I was wallowing in my beer when the topic of strippers came up.

Naturally, my spidey sense was tingling.

I'll spare you the details, but the discussion culminated in the GIRLS at the party -- 4 of them -- convincing us 3 guys that we should all go to the strippers. Sweet sassy molassy, you don't need to ask me twice. Cori, Mel, Melissa, and Lise...you are the greatest women EVER!

posted by Team Shawn Michaels @ 10:08 p.m.