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Garthanarajuat -- the Fast Drinker

I think the reason why I LOVE Auld Lang Syne as "THE" New Year's song is because it's one that no one really knows the words to...so you just mumble along and/or humm the words. This way, whether you are drunk or if you are sober, everyone sounds the same come Midnight.

Two guesses as to whether I was sober or not. Those of you that got a phone call from me that evening already know the answer!

But the evening started out very strangely. We told people to arrive at 7:30 so at 6:15 (naturally) Chad and Robin are already there. Cori and I were just putting the finishing touches on decorating and getting ready...but we didn't want to keep our guests waiting. In a rush, Corinna dumped half of the chocolate that we had purchased for the chocolate foundue / fountain and popped it into the microwave to melt.

She put it in for 3:00 minutes. After 2 minutes had elapsed, she RAN to the microwave...but it was too late. Half of our chocolate had BURNT to a hot, messy, unsalvagable mess. Agh...that's $5 we'll never see again! Fortunately the second half of the chocolate went a lot better, so the fondue was salvaged.

Not knowing what to do, we popped in a movie: Atanajuat: The Fast Runner.

It was the Cannes 2001 winner for best feature film...and it's from Canada. It was nominated for a Foreign Language Oscar and won 6 Genie awards. So it can't be THAT bad, can it?

Sadly, yes...yes it can. Basically, the story is about a couple of Inuit families that face adversity in the North We... Oh hell, who am I kidding. None of you care what it's about...you only care why we were watching it! But I cannot do justice to the masterpiece about Inuit Life. Instead, I will let the movie synopsis do all the talking (I've highlighted the best parts):

When Atanarjuat wins away Oki's promised wife-to-be, the beautiful Atuat, in a head punching competition, Oki vows to get even. Egged on by his intimidating father, Oki and his friends plot to murder both brothers while they sleep. Amaqjuaq is speared through their tent and killed, but Atanarjuat miraculously escapes, running naked for his life across the spring sea ice.

We made a drinking game of it. Uh...anytime something stupid happened, we had to drink. Needless to say, after 1.5 hours (or, as Corinna puts it, HALF WAY) we shut the bloody thing off and get back to DVD games and karaoke (without the karaoke machine).

The drinking is in full force in no time at all. Garth (amazingly?) puts us ALL to shame with the drinking. If we had one shot of Jagermeister, he'd have two. Naturally, that amount of booze would make him ten feet tall and bulletproof...and clumsy as fuck. I selected Garth to be on my Air Hockey Team...and we got slaughtered. Oh well, I'm in training for the great 2006 Air Hockey and Darts Tournament to be held soon at our house.

Because I have a tendancy to go on and on in this blog, I'll let the pictures do the talking.

This is my friend Felix, whom I work with. When I mentioned that I lost in Air Hockey, it MAY also be because Felix (a) was playing net for the other team and (b) was sober. In the background, you can see the unused chocolate fountain.

Uh oh... Looks like Chad's too drunk to notice that arm DOESN'T belong to his fiancee!

Hey Jody...maybe you should stick to hitting on woman. Like my amazingly hot wife. (Or...wait...that sounded bad, didn't it)??

Me, looking STUNNINGLY drunk. Uh...this is the part where I start calling everyone, I'm certain of it!

This is me after a dropped a $30 champagne flute after Garth elbowed me in the ribs.

Yes, the night goes by all too quickly. Before long, New Year's has come and gone. Jody runs around outside (in only his socked feet) and I'm pretty sure he pukes in our back yard. Why didn't he puke in the bathroom? That's 'cause it was occuppied by Garth who provided us with his best rendition of the Exorcist yet!

And not to be outdone, I (sadly) also puked.

The next day, I felt kinda queasy...but nothing like Chad who had been drinking Scotch and Jager all night long. Here is the "morning after" picture, shortly before I cooked French Toast (the smell of which also made HIM puke)!

After Chad and Robin said their goodbyes, we made our way to Fairmont. If you've never gone, you should as you see some of the best scenery this province has to offer. You literally drive right through the mountains...Observe:

While in Fairmont, we didn't do a whole lot as we were visiting the in-laws. However, one cool thing we did do is to take a drive to see some people ice fishing. Houle...Cori says she wants to try it out one time!

The other cool thing we did is visit a natural hot spring.

Now, I wasn't here just for a visit...I actually climbed in! (And yes, I need to work on my tan...so save the yappin'). The water here (in the upper pool) is about 35 Celcius. In the lower pool, I estimate the tempature being around 27 Celcius. Oh...and lets just get this clear...before you sum bitches make any comments about the chick in the back ground crawling into the water, you should know that's my mother in law!

But that's not the best part. You see, the cool part of these hot springs is that they are FREE and feed into a river. So, since I am (kinda) young and (definately) stupid, I decide to be a MAN and sit in the river.

This river is the result of GLACIAL RUN-OFF. And it's the middle of December.

Just look at the PAIN in my face. Jesus H. Christ that water was fucking cold!

With that adventure out of the way, we made it back to the condo were I proceeded to drink my face off and then head out to a local bar to sing Karoake. We DO have a video of this amazing feat; sadly, I am not certain if you can post video's to this blog. Which is too bad, because I have the voice of a choir boy that has not yet been raped by the priest!

In the end, it was a lot of fun but I'm glad to be back in the city!

posted by Team Shawn Michaels @ 9:55 p.m.