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One step closer to Mr. X

There are many in my life that I admire and respect. Notable examples include Hulk Hogan, for teaching me to say my prayers and eat my vitamins. Spiderman, for teaching me that with great power comes great responsibility. And Chuck Norris, for teaching me that a roundhouse kick to the head will shut a man up fast.

But despite all of these legends, they all pale in comparison to the one, the only, Mr. X.

(This blog post has been edited as Mr. X is sensitive of having his real name associated in this blog post. Something about "job prospects" and what not).

As many of you who read this blog already know the legend that it is Mr. X, I shan't repeat his numerous qualities and character traits that make him the single greatest human being on the face of the planet. Nor will I recall the tales of adventure and wonderlust that comprise this prodigy's life to date. Indeed, my fingers could scarcely type an description equal to 1/10th the power and the glory of him. And I daresay that all 7 of the World's Muses living high upon Mount Parnassus would struggle mightily to contain Mr. X. to the confines of mere pen and paper.

Many try to emulate this legend. While we realize the futility of this endeavour, we nonetheless attempt to relive his experiences so that we may yet understand what it is like to be him.

But, just as blindfolding yourself and wearing ear plugs doesn't make you Helen Keller, neither will any lame attempt on your part measure up to the magnificence of his life.

That doesn't mean we don't try...

Last night, I went to Koutouki Restaurant on the West end of Edmonton. It is a nice Greek restaurant that feeds you more than you could possibly hope to consume in one evening. We were there to meet some of Cori's friends for dinner who had made the trek from as far north as Fort Mac and as far south of Calgary. Call it a get together / reunion if you will.

Anyhow, I ordered some lamb souvlaki kebaps and was waiting for the food to be delivered. All of a sudden, the lights go down real low and they pipe in really loud greek music. In the distance, the sounds of finger cymbals start softly, but slowly build in pitch and intensity...as the belly dancer emerges from the back room!

If you've never been to a restaurant with a belly dancer, the idea is that you slip a $5 or more into their hip strap. In order to convince you to tip them, they shake their bodies suggestively right in front of your face (which, don't get me wrong, I don't really mind) but they ALSO try to get you dance with them (which, if you're not drunk, is TERRIFYING...I mean, HULLO! most of the people in that eatery were white!)

Slowly but surely, the belly dancer made her way to our table. And there was no hiding me from plain view. Hell, I was sitting right next to the open portion of the restaurant where she was dancing! One by one, this subtle temptress was luring men into dancing with her by throwing her scarf all willy-nilly and making the guy who caught it (either by choice or by chance) to dance with her.

The closer she got to our table...the more afraid I became that I was going to have to dance. But fortunately, help arrived in the nick of time...our food came! Surely to god she wouldn't bug us while we were eating!

But no... Food did not grant us any reprieve. Sigh...let's just get this over with!

Oh...but it gets better. And I'm NOT DRUNK here, either.
Can't you just SEE how much I'm enjoying the "dry off with a towel" (TM) move???
In the end, did I manage to pull off "dancing with a belly dancer" with as much grace and class as Jay did? Well, you can all be the judge of that!

The other interesting event from the restaurant was this guy. How in sweet jesus did he do this?

Any ways, after dinner we went bowling. Some people, like Corinna, actually tried (and did well) at bowling. Here is Cori celebrating after a strike!

I, on the other hand, lick donkey balls when it comes to bowling. Hence, me and Mike "strongest arms in the west" Syndenham had a competition to see who could throw the ball the fastest down the lane. Mike started off with a 50.21 kmph blast that impressed us all. Not to be outdone, I managed to throw a 51.32 kmph, thereby dethroning the champ and taking back the championship belt.

But my celebration was not unlike the French upon completion of the Maginot Line...Mike countered with a BLISTERING 53+ kmph shot that I just could not match, though I did try as evidenced below. Mike's camera has a shutter speed that measures in the 1oooths of a second and it's STILL blurry...that gives you some idea of the force we were whipping these balls down the aisle!
Realizing that we couldn't beat Mike, we instead concentrated on a second game of bowling. Problem was that we only had 15 minutes to play an entire game -- and there were 11 of us! Rather than turning in our shoes, we played a game of speed bowling which involved us throwing balls as fast as we could down the lane -- sometimes not even waiting for the gate to lift!

Yeah...bad idea. We got EVERY SINGLE BALL in our two lanes jammed into the hopper. Uh...and then we made it worse by throwing every single ball in the lanes on either side of us down our lane as well... Needless to say, those balls were ALSO jammed. Gulp!

Fearing expulsion...or worse, having to pay for damages....Cori went and got a lane attendant. Before he went to fix the problem, he chided us somewhat. "Jesus, you kids...what is wrong with you. That's 21 balls in a lane that you jammed up there!"

I can only imagine the GASKET he blew to find out that instead of 21 balls...there were actually around 60 bowling balls at the end of our lanes. He started shovelling them back at us by using a broom to push the balls into the hopper to roll back to the front of the lane. But upon their arrival, we threw 'em right back at the guy! Lets just say that his broom took a beating! I still don't know how we didn't get kicked out!

Here is a picture of the balls coming back, regrettably it's blurry...but by my count, there are about 8 balls being sent back at once.

All in all a good night, I'd have to say!

posted by Team Shawn Michaels @ 1:18 p.m.